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Something’s Gotta Give

By January 26, 2012Uncategorized

I am in my second week of the 40 days program and I must say that I am really enjoying myself. In fact, I love this program so much that I’ve decided to take it on a seventh time. What’s not to love about this personal revolution though?! You get to do 6 days of yoga in a week, meditate every day, journal on your eating habits/patterns and go through some deep inquiry about your personal life…sounds pretty hardcore but totally doable right?!! Well, I must tell you that every time that I’ve participated, I’ve struggled with my meditation. I’ve constantly had to recommit to my meditation practice and realize just that….that it’s a practice! Well, I set out THIS time to really focus on that and it’s been going great. Here’s the kicker though….my asana practice is basically non-existent. My yoga practice that I love so much (my sanity!) has taken the back burner this time around and I’ve been making up excuses from ‘being tired’ to ‘having no time’ and simply just not wanting to hit my mat. What is it that I fear?

The very first time that I did this program I had been going through a difficult break-up. I resented meditation so much because it made me deal with the feelings that I had. I would immerse myself into my yoga practice so that I didn’t have to face anything else. Well now the tables have turned and there’s something on my mat to discover and I am resenting it. I am completely aware of this but yet I do nothing! If it’s not my meditation that’s lacking, it’s my diet or now…my practice. To really focus on one aspect of this program means I have to ignore some other components right? Something’s gotta give? Well….that’s the easy way out. The truth is, nothing has to be compromised. I can make time for my practice just as I’m doing for my meditation, my nourishment and my excavating questions. It’s a choice. If I want growth in my life, if I want to break the patterns that are clearly not working, I need to FULLY commit without judgement or guilt. I need to hit my mat 6 days a week and if I fall off the wagon…I get back on with more velocity, drive and heart. At our very first meeting I declared that I am letting go of my self saboteur and here she is….trying to take over control! She is so sneaky!! Well, I see her and I recommit to my declaration as well as my asana practice….which like I’ve said before…is indeed just that.

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